


The Adventures of Bella and Co. (that no one needs nor cares but deserves)

by MidnightRen147



Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types
Genre: Bella is suave asf, Edward is memelord now, F/F, F/M, Gay, Im tired, M/M, Maybe not ones you can find, Multi, References exist, Rosalie Hale needs a hug, alice is a nymph, but also bella being a Pyro, chat fic, dumpster fire of love and war, good luck swallowing this, is that the right AU word?, very
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-21
Updated: 2019-03-29
Packaged: 2019-10-14 03:27:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 4,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17500679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MidnightRen147/pseuds/MidnightRen147
Summary: what the fuck did i do





	1. When She Wakes (she falls)

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Big Twilight Energy](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16586459) by [TheGreenHouse](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGreenHouse/pseuds/TheGreenHouse). 



> well fuck here you go ig
> 
>  
> 
> Also shoutouts to TheGreenHouse cuz I read their Fic and now you need something that isn't angsty or depressing like my other Fic (that I totally did not just reference either)

**2:23 AM**

~~Besties Barfarama~~

belalalAA: hey u bitches

belalalAA: gyus

belalalAA: guys*

belalalAA: r u mad i ditched you for edwienne

belalalAA: aNswer

belalalAA: i don't ave time for this

belalalAA: wait fuck

belalalAA: guys i have aproblem

belalalAA: hhhHHHHH i'm a furry noe

AnGeLiCa: Bella go to bed

belalalAA: no

AnGeLiCa: Bella

belalalAA: angelface please just i love u u and im gay pls

HessTheLess: We Aren't Mad That You Ditched Us, But Maybe Let Us Know First

belalalAA: uwu u love me but i did a thing so Pls

AnGeLiCa: What did you do this time?

belalalAA: i accidentallyliked all of the girls frm th culleens?????

belalalAA: i fell don th stairs again and i might've brokn somethign

belalalAA: sis

belalalAA: sis

belalalAA: sis

HessTheLess: SOS*?

belalalAA: yEs

AnGeLiCa: Do you want me to come over?

belalalAA: if u see Amyswetspiderpuss liking ur shit on tiwtter that's me so don't freak out

HessTheLess: Bella. Bed.

belalalAA: no u

AnGeLiCa: I'll be there in 15

belalalAA: this is y ur my fave angelface

 _belalalAA_ changed AnGeLiCa's name to **Angelcakeintheface**

 _HessTheLess_ changed Angelcakeintheface to **AngelCakeToTheFace**

~~~

**1:23 PM**

AngelCakeToTheFace: jESS

AngelCakeToTheFace: Please

AngelCakeToTheFace: You jus' have to-

AngelCakeToTheFace: oh my fucking  
god

AngelCakeToTheFace: I'm in the bathroom fucking crying

AngelCakeToTheFace: fUCKING check this out

AngelCakeToTheFace: Bella died it's totally fine

AngelCakeToTheFace: So Bella sits in between Rosalie and Alice right

AngelCakeToTheFace: ANd they've been eyeing her right? And she literally slipped out of her chair under the fucking desk as Mrs.  
Leeane asked us to tell us a fucking story to our partner(s) right?

AngelCakeToTheFace: Bella just went all red faced from embarrassment

AngelCakeToTheFace: I'm getting second hand embarrassment like jesus

AngelCakeToTheFace: And when they both outed her out, Rosalie saying and I quote "Next time have a different account. I saw your posts." and Alice just fucking giggles like a godamn pixie

HessTheLess: I Think She's More Like A Nymph.

AngelCakeToTheFace: And kisses Bella's fucking cheek saying "At least you liked the best one" then they both prance their beautiful asses out of class

belalalAA: u betrayd me :(

belalalAA: i thot we were frindz

HessTheLess: Why Does Rosalie Look Like She Wants To Set The World On Fire?

belalalAA: fire?

AngelCakeToTheFace: Oh dear

HessTheLess: Later!

AngelCakeToTheFace: JESS

belalalAA: bitchs i brough my lighterrrrr

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> belalalAA~Bella
> 
> AnGeLiCa/AngelCakeToTheFace~Angela
> 
> HessTheLess~Jess


	2. When She Falls (she wakes)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> another one??

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i actually couldn't resist so here more gay

**5:33 PM**

~~Besties Barfarama~~

belalalAA: so im going on a date with rose and alice

belalalAA: help

belalalAA: sos

belalalAA: what wear

belalalAA: plEase

ActuallyDeath: Wait waht

GuessTheJess: What*

ActuallyDeath: Thank you. Now what the fuck

belalalAA: nOt HeLpInG

belalalAA: nwn

belalalAA: im soo gay they decided they wanted 2 bee gay with me, alice said matching stripes

belalalAA: thats a lie

GuessTheJess: I'll Be Over In 12, I'll Pick You Up Angie

ActuallyDeath: Okk

 _ActuallyDeath_ changed belalalAA to **uselesslesbian**

uselesslesbian: atlas-t im not as cold ass weiss

GuessTheJess: Or Rosalie

ActuallyDeath: Stop playing with Google Translate, we know it isn't accurate Bells

uselesslesbian: no u owo

uselesslesbian: anygays

uselesslesbian: im gay

uselesslesbian: and useless yes

ActuallyDeath: We're 6 minutes away Bells, just don't die yet okay?

uselesslesbian: too late

uselesslesbian: charlie heard sis

GuessTheJess: SOS*

uselesslesbian: no me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> belalalAA/uselesslesbian~Bella
> 
> ActuallyDeath~Angelica
> 
> GuessTheJess~Jess


	3. Not to be Funny or Anything but Bella is ggAAAYYYYYY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which bellaboo moves faster than a vamp in the name of ghey lurv

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I get hit with inspiration then I might as well write on this bitch

**2:22 AM**

~~Cullenie of eCH~~

stupidbitch: y'all

empathicwhore: I take offense

stupidbitch: shut ur fcea jasperthefiendlyghoast.png

empathicwhore: And why're you up Darlin'?

TeLePaThIcMeMe: jAsPeR lEaVe ThE hUmAn Be, It NeEdS sLeEp

stupidbitch: liek u gyus dn't slep

PiXiEnYmPh: It's true~ Oh Bella, the date was wonderful!

stupidbitch: no u nd rosie

Strongfemale: Bella stop stealing my woman :(

stupidbitch: stop being dumb

empathicwhore: Yes Bella, stop stealing all of our Loves.

PiXiEnYmPh: Watch until she gets to Esmom~

Esmom: WHat about me?

stupidbitch: esmOM! u wana go onna dtae latr?

Esmom: WHy of course Dear! WHat time shall I pick you up?

stupidbitch: oh fk i dnd't think u'd say yes uH how bout 6:15 pm, i'll slidethe detales into ur dmss

Esmom: Okay!

strongMale: what the fuck did I miss

PiXiEnYmPh: Nothing~

empathicwhore: She asked Esme out on a date.

strongMale: *blocked*

Strongfemale: LMFAO

Strongfemale: See rosie is Loyal to me

PiXiEnYmPh: FAMILY MEETING

stupidbitch: fk

stupidbitch: night you vampiric whore bitches

stupidbitch: thta i still lurve

empathicwhore: Goodnight Darlin'.

TeLePaThIcMeMe: https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/160623427462496256/537364174548893697/image0.jpg

TeLePaThIcMeMe: LaTeR hUmAn

~~~

**5:50 AM**

~~Besties Barfarama~~

uselesslesbian: y'all

uselesslesbian: ur geyh lesbean got a date with the cullegnds mOm

uselesslesbian: nd u still want the epci detales of me nd alice nd rosie

ActuallyDeath: Well duh, out with it

GuessTheJess: Did You Fuck?

uselesslesbian: im 2 asexual for thta

ActuallyDeath: I think her spelling is getting worse

GuessTheJess: *blocked*

ActuallyDeath: Snort*

uselesslesbian: so we went out to p.a and went to c Birdboy and omfg its th gretest shit evr y'all gotta watch thta bitch anygays thye tok me out 2 diner nd whle we were walkign a group of dudes strted harasign us nd ali-cat n' posie whiped ther pussy asses it wsa grrt

GuessTheJess: Are You Okay? Did You Get Hurt?

uselesslesbian: pff naw im ok, i thot i head growlign nd i took out m lightr

ActuallyDeath: Of course you did, but are you sure you're okay?

uselesslesbian: m hear rn't i?

uselesslesbian: nd now ima find Birdboy on th interwebzz nd donload it cuz shit's goo

GuessTheJess: Do You Need Help For Your Date Tonight?

ActuallyDeath: I think we both know the answer to that Jess.

GuessTheJess: I Don't Want Her To Look Like Tracer.

uselesslesbian: mm fire nd thyme

 _GuessTheJess_ changed uselesslesbian to **dontmiss**

dontmiss: i ht on al the grils binch

ActuallyDeath: Of course you do bells, you have yet to stop asking me

dontmiss: cuz ur a lesbean liek meee

GuessTheJess: American*

dontmiss: eat pant

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> stupidbitch/uselesslesbian/dontmiss~Bella
> 
> empathicwhore~Jasper
> 
> TeLePaThIcMeMe~Edward
> 
> PiXiEnYmPh~Alice
> 
> Strongfemale~Emmett
> 
> Esmom~Esme
> 
> strongMale~Rosalie
> 
> GuessTheJess~Jess
> 
> ActuallyDeath~Angela


	4. Idea's maybe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> y'alL BITCH ASSES

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SOS

1\. I don't own Twilight but y'know if I did it'd be this godamn messy  
2\. I think we knew this  
2\. aNyGaYs  
5\. I need prompt ideas, but like I'll still continue on as a story  
3\. Did that make sense  
7\. Y'all got any?  
8\. Bella's gonna end up with the Volturi Queens too, which is Sulpicia, Athenodora, and Didyme, then 'course the Female guards like Jane, Reneta, Chelsea, Heidi, and Corin  
7\. I'ma leave the human's alone tho, like Emily, Kim, Claire, Rachel, and Renesmee (as she won't be here more than likely anygays)  
9\. OH and if you want me to write out like a normal fucking story tell me  
10\. I gottchyo bitch asses  
9\. That being said, how y'all likin' my mess?  
11\. Comments, thoughts, flames, ideas, prompts, tell me 'bout yer day idgaf  
13\. Love y'all and I miss you cuz that's jus' me

 

~Ren


	5. In Which the Denalis Are Wondering if Anyone is Okay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I mean you read the title of the chap-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I woke up at like 2:45 this morning almost puking and then ideas happened so now we're here

**3:33**

~~Cullenie of eCH~~

_PiXiEnYmPh_ added **Tanya Denali, Irina Denali, Kate Denali, Eleazar Denali, Carmen Denali** to ~~Cullini of eCH~~

stupidbitch: 3 man y vmpirs happegningn

PiXiEnYmPh: Bella go to bed!

stupidbitch: no me

stupidbitch: i felt sick so noe m hear nd othr bithes dn't juant m 2 tex thm at niht

stupidbitch: deal wit it

TeLePaThIcMeMe: ThAt's ThE mOsT nOrMaL sEnTeNcE i'Ve EvEr SeEn FrOm YoU hUmAn

stupidbitch: i wil eet ur as

Strongfemale: I already do that ;)~

stupidbitch: i thot it wsa m job 2 bee ghey

empathicwhore: Hon, they were gay way before you were alive.

stupidbitch: I HVAE WQAUSTIONM

Tanya Denali: Um?

stupidbitch: 1. do u evn fel th matign bond iff ali-cat dnd't tell uu  
2\. doo-doo heheh uH do anyjuan of thse new bitchs ave powress  
3\. can smoenone come ovre pls

Irina Denali: You told a human about vampires?!

empathicwhore: The li'l lady figured it out herself in fact, she isn't exactly normal herself either.

PiXiEnYmPh: Haven't you been told to never judge a book by it's cover~?

strongMale: I'll be over in 4 Bells

stupidbitch: ;w;

Kate Denali: ThIs is fucKinG amaZiNg! HI, I'm KAte, anD I haVe PSychIc EleCtrOkineSis~

stupidbitch: u've red m name, tf dos thta meme

TeLePaThIcMeMe: https://i.pinimg.com/750x/c8/77/3a/c8773ad14840c16339b9740ce2faa7f5.jpg tHiS iS bElLa BaSiCaLlY

empathicwhore: It means she can shock you, but only with her mind.

stupidbitch: hhhHHHHHHHHHHH th onl waifu

stupidbitch: wait

 _stupid bitch_ changed Kate Denali to **ElectroLopez**

PiXiEnYmPh: Now that I think about it, that is a very fitting name for her~

stupidbitch: oH OH

 _stupidbitch_ changed Dr. Colon to **Dr. Carloli**

stupidbitch: r u pruod of m

Carmen Denali: Oh hello.

Eleazar Denali: Hello indeed, and who may this be?

stupidbitch: suples ye fkin nredss

 _stupidbitch_ changed Cullenie of eCH to **veggievamps to eat thine ass**

Esmom: LOl

stupidbitch: yall invalid esmom aproval

stupidbitch: Hello Denali's, how are you tonight?

Irina Denali: What?

stupidbitch: rosie-posie is heeerrrrreeeeeee pya tf atentionnn

stupidbitch: I'll make sure she gets some sleep tonight, I'll be home later.

stupidbitch: cuz yall gots ta ave hre hoem she lefsz mee :((

PiXiEnYmPh: Do you want me to come over when Rose comes home~?

stupidbitch: esmOM

Esmom: YEs ma'am hehe

stupidbitch: bess mom

 _TeLePaThIcMeMe_ changed Carmen Denali to **HespanicMom**

stupidbitch: if thtas' th csea i demnad ur finiess mexican food

stupidbitch: One thing we've learned to get into Bella's heart is food. It's amazing and disgusting.

stupidbitch: syas 1 of 2 vamps whoo aet a grpou of hoomanbean

Dr. Carloli: aBout your other inquiry Bella, i'D like to run a few tests on aLice and rOse, so you'll have excuse me for taking them yes?

stupidbitch: suer, whn the rezgrils gonasa bee heer

Tanya Denali: If it's Okay with You carlisle, We'll be There within The next Week? i'm Sure our Experience will Help.

Dr. Carloli: aH, that'd be wonderful! yOu know our home is open to fAmily.

HespanicMom: Delightful, I can make use of the kitchen for your friend!

stupidbitch: cna i invte the rezbois

Dr. Carloli: iF it's okay with everyone else?

PiXiEnYmPh: It's okay with me~~

Strongfemale: Hell yea! Me n Paul still need to fight!

empathicwhore: It would be nice to see them again. It's a yes from me Darlin'.

Esmom: YOu'll love them Denali's, they're a wonderful crowd, and help Bella!

stupidbitch: m clumsi nut invlid

stupidbitch: posie say yess

stupidbitch: Fine, whatever. As long as the windows are open.

stupidbitch: u liek leah

PiXiEnYmPh: She's the only one I can see~

Dr. Carloli: iS that right? wEll, more questions to add hm?

Tanya Denali: And what Are these 'Rezbois'?

stupidbitch: thier dangurr bork shifturz

Dr. Caloli: wOlf sHifters, or qUileute wErewolves. wE've determined they aren't true cHildren of tHe mOon however, so no worries.

Tanya Denali: Alright then, Well it's Been a Pleasure to Meet you Bella and I hope We can Talk to You later.

stupidbitch: heheh i herd the purr in thta

stupidbitch: nihg u shits

PiXiEnYmPh:Hopelessly devoted to heerrrr~

TeLePaThIcMeMe: dAmMiT aLiCe

PiXiEnYmPh: <3~

Eleazar Denali: Wait 'rezgrils'?

stupidbitch: u cnt'a fool m, denali is a rezervacion in alazkaa

stupidbitch: gott'em

Esmom: GOodnight Bella!

stupidbitch: <3~<3~<3~<3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PiXiEnYmPh~Alice
> 
> stupidbitch~Bella
> 
> TeLePaThIcMeMe~Edward
> 
> Strongfemale~Emmett
> 
> empathicwhore~Jasper
> 
> Tanya Denali~Tanya
> 
> Irina Denali~Irina
> 
> strongMale~Rosalie
> 
> Kate Denali/ElectroLopez~Kate
> 
> Dr. Colon/Dr. Carloli~Carlisle
> 
> Carmen Denali/HespanicMom~Carmen
> 
> Eleazar Denali~Eleazar
> 
> Esmom~Esme


	6. Secrets in Time Sometimes Scar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Been a hot minute y'all

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings for this one guys:
> 
> Reference of abuse
> 
> Reference of self-harm
> 
>  
> 
> If this makes you uncomfortable you don't have to read

**3:39 PM**

~~Bella Swan, Alice Cullen~~

aLi-CaTtO: Bella? Are you okay? Everyone is worried.

umbrella-ella: ye

aLi-CaTtO: Are you sure?? She got you pretty good! :(

umbrella-ella: ye, 've had wores

aLi-CaTtO: Worse? When?

umbrella-ella: dn't worry boot it iz fin

umbrella-ella: old news lol

aLi-CaTtO: Bella.

umbrella-ella: Alice.

umbrella-ella: m fin ok

aLi-CaTtO: . . . Jasper feels your constant anxiety. And have you noticed you naturally shy away from people? I care about you. We care about you.

aLi-CaTtO: Please Bella?

umbrella-ella: . . . wold thye bee mad f i tld al em?

umbrella-ella: i... i thnki i shold com clen

aLi-CaTtO: Don't do anything that you think would make you uncomfortable :(

~~~

**3:52**

~~VeggieVamps To Eat Thine Ass~~

stupidbitch: hey guys?

SaDgAmZeE: YeS bElLa?

JaDe: Remember this is your safe space ok? :)

stupidbitch: ik

stupidbitch: thank u

stupidbitch: ik i'm new to sum y'all, @Denali

stupidbitch: as we al knw life gts ruff

stupidbitch: nd ve nevr relly haad a prper outlet

stupidbitch: so m sorty fer gettgn hellsa real haha

Rose: Bella?

stupidbitch: nd i knw not evryone is cumfertble wiht heavy topics, witch i totlly get ok, 

stupidbitch: . . .

stupidbitch: m sorry

stupidbitch: i shuldtn've said anythign

JaDe: Bella, it's okay. No one will judge you Hun. You know if you're feeling lonely any one of us will be there in less than 6.

stupidbitch: ok

stupidbitch: ok rght

stupidbitch: fuck

stupidbitch: ok so u knw how looselaura startd a fght wit me @ luhnc?

stupidbitch: nd 2day was sunny so i assme alicat got a visno

Rose: She didn't tell us anything. Now what happened?

SaDgAmZeE: iS tHiS wHy HeR tHoUgHtS wErE iN hEbReW?

JaDe: It's a Bella thing; I know she's strong enough to stick up for herself, but if things got too far

Rose: I'm killing her.

JaDe: Exactly~!

stupidbitch: wiat hw muhc did u see ali

JaDe: Not a lot, just the beginning of the fight and her getting in trouble. Why?

stupidbitch: she swa my scars

JaDe: oh

Rose: Excuse me, scars?

stupidbitch: dnT FREEK OUT

stupidbitch: there relly old nw so is ok

stupidbitch: butt i

stupidbitch: fk it ok

stupidbitch: i used to get abused

stupidbitch: nw wile evryone is typign

stupidbitch: shut the fuck up nd lemme gt thsi shit ouyt

stupidbitch: pls

Esmom: Should I bring food later?

stupidbitch: no, ill com ovr

stupidbitch: i knw ima be a fkin mess tho so b prpard fer thta lol

stupidbitch: so i wsa abused

stupidbitch: not physcaly, but emtionly nd verblly

stupidbitch: nw i dnt doo thius anymr

stupidbitch: but i usd ot cut to

stupidbitch: liek i sdai i dghnt anmre

Rose: I'm coming to pick you up.

stupidbitch: nd m sorty i dndt tll u gyus but u wwre new nd i dnd wnt to fel liek i was loking fer atenrtion cuz no ofence posie but ur scray

Rose: Understandable.

JaDe: But it's okay because we love you Bella!

stupidbitch: ik

stupidbitch: nd u mke me fel Safe

stupidbitch: ve nver felt Safe bfre

stupidbitch: nd ppl wer alwys fkae wit m

stupidbitch: nd mu evrythign scard ppl, liek my eyes, but u guys nvr cared

stupidbitch: u hve no idar how monumental thta ws fer m

stupidbitch: long stryo alice

JaDe: I'm not that short...

Kanaya: You're adorable li'l Darlin'.

stupidbitch: thank you

Rose: I'm here Bells.

stupidbitch: ~~get in loser we're going shopping~~

JaDe: Bella, you don't have to show us.

Rose: Show us what?

stupidbitch: scars

stupidbitch: c u guys in uhh

Rose: 4 mins

stupidbitch: not my sonuc

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How y'all doin' tho? Are you good? How've you been?
> 
> ~~Also what a great self present lmao (Jan. 30th that is)~~
> 
>  
> 
> aLi-CaTtO/JaDe~Alice
> 
> umbrella/stupidbitch~Bella
> 
> SaDgAmZeE~Edward
> 
> Rose~Rosalie
> 
> Esmom~Esme
> 
> Kanaya~Jasper
> 
>  
> 
> I also don't own Homestuck, so there's that


	7. Meet The Family, Shed Thy Blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all, sorry for the heavy hitter last chapter, but it's somewhat relevant
> 
> It's Bella, when is it not relevant lmao
> 
>  
> 
> TW: Implied Abuse

**Monday, 3:49 PM**

~~VeggieVamps To Eat Thine Ass~~

mizzcracker: guys

mizzcracker: plez

mizzcracker: i wana gt outa huer

mizzcracker: az fukignc suks

mizzcracker: iz ranign meen hally looyea

JaDe: Bella what's wrong? :(

mizzcracker: yur vpm frinds r heeree

mizzcracker: thurs a short sadnt blonfe n sh wont stpo purrign

JaDe: Jane? In Arizona?

Rhino: Woah what?? The Volturi are in Arizona?!

mizzcracker: akec syas jnae u saiud? he sais sh flt a puill er somshut n thuyer herr noe

mizzcracker: hello cullens. i apologize for the sudden intrussdtionh

mizzcracker: he stlre m fon :(((

mizzcracker: yal wana tlk 2 hm?

Dr. Carloli: sHould we be worried?

mizzcracker: he syas no

Dr. Carloli: pUt him on. iT appears we have a bit of a discussion.

mizzcracker: aye capn

mizzcracker: as i was saying, hello. sorry for the instrussion, but as bella relayed, yes jane did in fact feel a very sudden pull so the queens let me and jane to wander around for awhile. i might as well tell you that the queens want to talk to you about your newest addition.

Dr. Carloli: i'Ll let them know as soon as possible. tHank you aLec.

mizzcracker: soo whta tf is goign on hre on thdi dey

mizzcracker: o ye

mizzcracker: jnae n aldc r comign bck wit m

ElectroLopez: WoaH wHat?? The VolTUri arE cOmiNG heRe??!

JaDe: It's okay! We're going to be fine! Oo I'm so excited~!!

mizzcracker: ppppfpfffpPFFPpfp

JaDe: Do you doubt me Bella? >.>

mizzcracker: no

mizzcracker i love you guys

mizzcracker: got blass fre a biy

Rose: What the fuck did I miss

JaDe: FAMILY MEETING~

ElectroLopez: IS tHis AboUT BeLLsy ?.?

JaDe: Yup~! Come on lazy butts, I should tell you guys before the World bows down to Bella, hehe~!

~~~

Bella was leaving the party crowd, slightly tipsy and petting a 4'8 sized vampire. If she had to wager she'd guess the girl turned when she was at least 13, 15 at the lastest since Arizonans had some weird genes, which colored her perspective on people of course. Besides the small girl, she was feeling oddly down. She looked over at the girls brother, Alec she remembers, and he just shrugs back.

The brunette sighed. The vampires suddenly perked up and snarled at the person who followed Bella out into the balcony, the small girl, Jane, tightening her hold on her newest Mate. The 6' balding man smiled at the strange scene in confusion before holding up his hands to placate the irate blonde. It didn't really work.

"Hey uh, heya Bella? I uh... Wanted to speak to you? Alone, if possible."

Bella stood at edge, freezing when she heard the man. Slowly turning her head, the teen spotted a bald man with bright blue eyes. Jane must've smelt the fear on her as she growled just slightly louder, which only sounded like a faint buzz to the humans.

To the side as Alec disappeared into the darkness, he was texting the Queens as fast as he could, "asking for a special pardon" he'd reveal later.

Bella looked down at Jane and weighed her option. "Sure," she finally decided upon. Jane shot a look of disbelief at the teen, as if to say "are you fucking stupid?" which now that Bella thought about it, yea she had her stupid moments. Forcing a small but genuine smile, she kissed Janes forehead. "It'll be okay, you'll be nearby if I need help anyways." Bella whispered to hopefully calm the girl further. Jane huffed but reluctantly let go, dragging her brother with her.

~~Volturi Over The World~~

Cia: WHy Of COURSe! SENd SOMe Of THe HUMANs OUr WAy~! <3

~~~

Jane, Bella and Alec were already halfway back to the Cullens before the Volturi saw the news of what happened in Arizona.

~~~

**Thursday, 4:32 AM**

~~Bella's Bitch Babes~~

Rina: She awoke.

Kat-Attacc: CaN we sEE heR??

Rina: Not yet but I'll keep you guys posted ok? God I wish we were there with her. Alice what the fuck?!

Ali-Cat: It isn't my fault! It was in the heat of the moment and by the time I saw what happened they were already getting out of dodge, I'm sorry! :(((

eserella: IT's okay, she's going to be okay! WE just have to keep HOpe close to our HEarts.

plainJane: I'VE BEEN INFORMED THAT WE HAVE 2 MONTHS UNTIL WE SHOULD HEAD BACK TO ITALY. THE QUEENS REQUEST NO MALE SHALL BE PRESENT.

eserella: OF course JAne, we'll keep that in mind. I'M sure no one here will blame you if you bust your way to be with BElla, so please take all the time you need!

Ali-Cat: She'll be there in 5 minutes Irina, I suggest you leave in the next 3!

Rina: I don't trust the Witch Bitch, but fine.

Ali-Cat: Rina, you're the one who suggested we drink Human Blood! Why don't you?

Rina: You know why.

Kat-Attacc: It'S oKAy RiNA. yoU'Ll uNdErstaND if YOU jusT HaVE a siP. fOr BEllsY? :(

Rina: . . . Fine.

hoseUrhoes: Leah found out about Bella, I had to hold her back so she wouldn't barge into the hospital yelling and screaming. How is she? She's okay right?

plaineJane: THE HUMAN IS DOING FINE. SHE'S... ODD. I'VE NEVER SEEN EYES CHANGING COLORS BEFORE, THAT AREN'T VAMPIRE EYES.

Ali-Cat: Don't freak out Jane!

plaineJane: SHE'S HOLDING ME. WHAT THE FUCK.

Ali-Cat: It means she's comfortable with you enough that she wants to cuddle~ Besides everyone here, the only other people she's comfortable enough to hold onto are Jazz, Paul and Seth~! She's so cute isn't she??

plainJane: INTERESTING INDEED. I SHALL TALK TO YOU LATER.

Ali-Cat: I'll make sure to help Sam understand that you're also following the guidelines of their Treaty~! Later!! <3

plainJane: TREATY?

Tyger: We'll explain Later. for Now just Comfort bella, Being alone Destrisses her.

plainJane: UNDERSTOOD.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love you guy~!
> 
>    
> mizzcracker~Bella
> 
> JaDe/Ali-Cat~Alice
> 
> Rhino~Emmett
> 
> Dr. Carloli~Carlisle
> 
> ElectroLopez/Kat-Attacc~Kate
> 
> Rose/hoesUrhoes~Rosalie
> 
> Cia~Sulpicia
> 
> Rina~Irina
> 
> eserella~Esme
> 
> plainJane~Jane
> 
> Tyger~Tanya


	8. Comfort a God

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Splainin' some shit ye feel?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _I feel I ain't explainin' the relationship tag too well (thank you Crystal) so here we are lol_

**Thursday, 6:55 PM**

~~Bella's Bitch Babes~~

plainJane: EXPLAIN.

Ali-Cat: And shes asleep right??

plainJane: YES.

eserella: THe TReaty is between us and THe PAck of LA PUsh. AS of late we've switched to the HUman DIet, which... WEll, you haven't had ANimal blood, and we don't recommend lol.

plainJane: INTERESTING. AND WHY DID YOU SWITCH, AND HOW IS THIS RELEVANT TO "THE PACK"?

Tyger: From what I've gathered Over the Years, animal Blood actually Makes us Vampires weaker And more Or less Crave human Blood more Than if We stayed On the Human diet.

Ali-Cat: Exactly~! And because of that, we reworked our Treaty with the Shapeshifters~!!!

eserella: WE've also noticed that BElla is a very special HUman, as... WEll, before we started to have our natural food source, we felt a pull to her. WE now know it's actually a MAting BOnd.

plainJane: WAIT. ALL OF YOU ARE MATED TO HER? AND HOW ABOUT EACH OTHER?

Kat-Attacc: oH tRUSt me, wE're alL LoVing the MaTEd life~

plainJane: RIGHT. I DO FEEL A MYSTERIOUS PULL TO YOU ALL, WHICH I'VE FOUND CURIOUS. YOU HAVEN'T EXPLAINED THE TREATY HOWEVER.

Ali-Cat: We live on the scum of the earth~! Or, in Esme's case, Blood Bags! :)) OH MY GOSH!

eserella: ALice?

hoseUrhoes: And she's gone...

plainJane: I FEEL MY LIFE HAS GOTTEN MORE INTERESTING.

Kat-Attacc: i meAn, YOu noW hAVe YouR own FeMAle hARem ~^~

plainJane: I THINK I'D LIKE TO MEET ALL OF YOU, OFFICIALLY, AND NOT ON BEHALF OF THE VOLTURI.

weewoo: hOW'S bELLA??

plainJane: STILL CLINGING ONTO ME. I WANT TO MEET SOON HOWEVER.

Ali-Cat: oKay 1. Alec can look over our BellaBoo, 2. She'll be safe, and 3. We're gonna have another Mate~

weewoo: aNOTHER bLOOD sUCKER? sERIOUSLY?!

hoseUrhoes: Except you love us already.

weewoo: dON'T rEMIND ME...

Ali-Cat: <333

plainJane: ODD INDEED...

Tyger: please Excuse leah, She's from The pack And like Everyone else Still getting Used to The changes.

weewoo: i lEFT aCTUALLY. i dIDN'T wANT tO bE aPART oF tHE tOXIC tHOUGHTS-

Kat-Attacc: wOAh WAit whAt?? dO you hAve a PLAcE to LiVE???

weewoo: i lOOKED aT sOME aPARTMENTS uP iN pORT aNGELES aLREADY, tHEY gAVE mE a wEEK.

eserella: OH HOney, you don't have to!

Ali-Cat: Really Mom??? We can keep her??? :DDD

weewoo: wHAT'RE yOU tALKING aBOUT? kEEP hER wHO?

ALi-Cat: You silly~! Come live with us, please please please please ple-

weewoo: fINE! fINE i'LL lIVE wITH yOU... aS lONG aS eVERYONE eLSE iS oKAY wITH iT.

eserella: WE're going to leave for ITaly a week after tomorrow, and according to ALice our FAmily is going to grow anyhow! SO please, stay with us, and I'Ve been thinking about moving us again, if that's okay with everyone else?

Tyger: Alaska?

hoseUrhoes: I'd like to go to college for a change.

Ali-Cat: Count me in~!

plainJane: THAT IS, IF THE QUEENS DECIDE TO NOT KEEP YOU IN THE CASTLE. CHANCES ARE PRETTY HIGH.

ALi-Cat: We have multiple lives ahead of us~! We can stay in the castle right?!??

Tyger: Smirk* I wouldn't Mind.

plainJane: TANYA.

Tyger: yes Jane?

plainJane: I THOUGHT YOU DISLIKED THE VOLTURI.

Tyger: . . . Sometimes you Shouldn't hold Onto the Past of Which prevents You to Move forward. We've found Something that Helped us.

plainJane: CONGRATULATIONS.

Kat-Attacc: CAreFuL, hEr HEarT migHt sTart MeLTiNG~

Rina: Hush Kate. We already melted Rosalie's heart.

hoseUrhoes: I can't help but love you idiots, I blame Bella.

Tyger: Of course Rose, we Expect nothing Less <3

plainJane: I TEXTED ALEC. HE WILL LOOK OVER THE HUMAN. I'LL ARRIVE WITHIN 10 MINUTES.

ALi-Cat: Yes ma'am~! ^w^)\

plainJane: WHAT.

Ali-Cat: It's a salute emoji! :((

plainJane: WE JUST STARTED TO USE THESE CONTRAPTIONS YOU CALL A "PHONE". I MAY BE A BIT SLOW.

Ali-Cat: I gottchu Jane the Rain~!

weewoo: tHEY kICKED sETH oUT tOO >:(

Ali-Cat: No worries Leah, he'll find the safety you deserve~!

weewoo: aND hOW dO yOU kNOW?

Ali-Cat: Don't you know, you can't ask a Seer her secrets~ ;P

weewoo: rIGHT... mE aND sETH aRE gONNA bE oVER iNNA bIT oK? . . . yOU dON'T hAVE tO bE sO nICE tO uS yOU kNOW.

eserella: NO worries DEar! WE'd love to have you around and be able to trust us! THat's why FAte decided to make us MAtes after all!

buffoon: nd dats y u bitchse got mee yEet i srted dis msse cxcx0

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Does this help you guys? Lemme know, okk? Cx0_
> 
>  
> 
> plainJane~Jane
> 
> Ali-Cat~Alice
> 
> eserella~Esme
> 
> Tyger~Tanya
> 
> Kat-Attacc~Kate
> 
> hoseUrhoes~Rosalie
> 
> weewoo~Leah
> 
> Rina~Irina
> 
> buffoon~Bella


	9. HuMaN iNtErVeNtIoN-

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Humans need to talk to Bella because they're worried that she went to another Dimension
> 
>  
> 
> TW: Referenced Abuse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _i didN'T DEATH BITCHES_

**Friday, 1:21 pm**

~~Besties Barfarama~~

ActuallyDeath: BELALALALALALALLALALALALALAL

Actually Death: IS YOU EXISTENCE??

dontmiss: lol no

GuessTheJess: Bella! Where The Hell Have You Been? Did They Release You From The Hospital? Who Was The Crowd Around You?

dontmiss: *Mutes*

ActuallyDeath: Oh no you don't missy you gotta tell us now

dontmiss: agg fnie

dontmiss: prmis u wnt frek out tho

ActuallyDeath: Why would we freak out, did you kill someone

dontmiss: nono onno

dontmiss: i visted fam pu in az nd met up wit sum olf frenz

dontmiss: thn sgit hit the fna

dontmiss: mi stp pa wntd ta tlka wit mi awu frum peepz nd he fiond otu im gey

dontmiss: logn strpy shurt hhe bet me up

dontmiss: beat*

dontmiss: so frendz gor me tf outya dogfde

GuessTheJess: I'm Going To Fly Up To Arizona And Beat Them Up, Care To Join Angela?

ActuallyDeath: Yes actually I would like that

dontmiss: stpe pa si in jale noe

ActuallyDeath: I can hear the grapevines now

ActuallyDeath: "Chief Swan's Long Lost Daughter: Home and Battered By her Past"

GuessTheJess: This Is Why You're The Title Giver For The Newspaper

GuessTheJess: Are You Okay Now Bella? Do You Need Hugs?

dontmiss: npoe, i gt the cullins

GuessTheJess: Cullens*

dontmiss: hehe, nd ther cuzins

ActuallyDeath: Oo, cousins~?

dontmiss: thurs a war btwen thm 2 c wohd stel mi firts

GuessTheJess: You're So Plain! Why You?!

ActuallyDeath: Don't be so sad because Edward rejected you

dontmiss: nd revel he wuz gey ni te smae sntence

GuessTheJess: *Block*

ActuallyDeath: Ladies and gentlemen, we got her

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dontmiss: Bella
> 
> ActuallyDeath: Angela
> 
> GuessTheJess: Jessica


End file.
